Archive-
2002- I Can't Spell ArpiL-
The
Thread of the Month Award
04.03.02
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Submitted by "NandP" |
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Level:
18
Posts: 380
HP: 194/429
MP: 126/288
Exp: 16% |
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I
Discovered That I Really Like Corners
04.06.02
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Submitted by "Jack's
smirking revenge" |
I
discovered that I really like corners. They are very
snug and comfortable. It feels good to have my spine
fit into the crevice as the two sides press against
my back.
When I ride the subway I try to get a window seat because
the seatback and the side of the train with the window
make a corner. I then put my feet up on the seat across
from me, which is perpendicular to mine. Then, I stick
my hands under my armpits and hug myself. This is an
incredibly comfortable position. Maybe it has something
to do with the fetus retreating into the womb. I dunno.
More: Daddy,
what’s a Pakistan? |
Today's
"Shoot Me I'm a Worthless Fukkin Slug Award"
goes to:
04.08.02
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Submitted by "Insanity" |
SANTA
ANA, Calif. - Exercise and disability checks apparently
don't mix.
A woman pleaded guilty to insurance fraud after she
was caught on video participating in an aerobics class
while receiving disability payments, authorities said
Thursday. Noel
DeSota, 55, entered the plea last month and was sentenced
to 60 days in jail and 120 hours of community service,
according to the state Department of Insurance. She
was also ordered to pay $70,000 in restitution and
a $200 fine.
DeSota
slipped and fell in April 1998, apparently injuring
her left hip, knee, back and neck. She was treated
by a doctor and put on temporary disability.
State
investigators discovered DeSota joined a "Jazzercise"
class in January 1999 while continuing to claim she
was unable to work because of her injuries. After
taping her workout, investigators showed the video
to DeSota's doctors, who said she had misrepresented
her ability to return to work.
Assoc.
Press |
2dP's
Crazy Magic Eight-Ball (legal
version)
04.08.02
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Submitted by "NandP" |
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This
Arrest Brought To You By Pepsi
04.09.02
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Submitted by "Insanity" |
MOORESVILLE
- Why couldn't Charlotte think of this? While the Queen
City's City Council was messing around, trying to work
out a public-private partnership with the Hornets' owners
to build an arena, Mooresville -- aka Race City USA
-- stole our shtick.
On Wednesday, Mooresville signed a deal to allow NASCAR
sponsors to put their paint schemes on the town's police
cars. More:
It's
a great idea. Why not Charlotte? |
"Moron's
In Political Office"
04.09.02
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Submitted by "Insanity" |
Gene
Crandal, business owner of a junk yard in Mentz, NY
earns Insanity's Smartass Award for April 2002!
After years of litigation with the township, who ordered
Crandal to build a fence around his junk yard, Crandal
finally gave them what they wanted, a nice new fence
around his junk yard. After refusing to comply with
a court order to fence his property, Crandal earned
Insanity's Smart Ass award by building a quarter mile
long fence around his junkyard out of crushed cars.
Rusty, mangled old pickup trucks, squeeshed up sedans,
and even a few caddy's were stacked three and four high
circuting Crandal's entire junk yard. Town officials
had a complete fit about Crandal's completely smart
ass responce in building his fence, but stated that
after years of litigation, and over $40,000 in legal
fees the township has already paid in pursuing this
case, they just want the fued to end.
Insanity's suggestion: Why didn't you brainchildren
just use the money to fence the damn thing in in the
first place? It would have cost no more than a few thousand
dollars, and would have solved the problem satisfactorily
for everyone involved! Morons in Office I wonder who
elects these fukkin idiots?? Discuss:
Morons
in Office I wonder who elects these fukkin idiots?? |
From
Politician To Pot Poster Boy
04.12.02
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Submitted by "Insanity" |
| NEW
YORK - Mayor Michael Bloomberg will be featured
in an advertising campaign by the National Organization
for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, the group said Monday.
The $500,000 campaign will feature bus shelter signs
and telephone booth posters carrying a quote from Bloomberg,
when asked if he had ever smoked marijuana, declaring:
"You bet I did. And I enjoyed it." Bloomberg
made the remark to a New York magazine reporter last
year before he was elected mayor. The
Washington-based group is using Bloomberg as the centerpiece
of its campaign to urge the city to stop arresting
and jailing people for smoking marijuana. Bloomberg
said Monday that the city would continue making such
arrests, no matter what he may have said in the past.
"I'm
not thrilled they're using my name," he said.
"I suppose there's that First Amendment that
gets in the way of me stopping it."
The
mayor didn't say when he smoked marijuana.
The
campaign also will feature radio spots and a full-page
ad in The New York Times, but the group did not say
if the Bloomberg quote would appear in those.
Discuss:
The
mayor didn't say when he smoked marijuana. |
2dP
March Report - "We'r rly happy of it"
04.13.02
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Submitted by "NandP" |
Not
even the death of Caesar could ruin this years march
for myself and the staff. We broke all records in the
month of march and continue to rise like some mutated
cake in the oven. I just hope we do not leave the stove
on ruining the entire thing like some apocalyptic cataclysmic
death of the world kind of ending.
So everyone who has visited, discovered, accidentally
fell upon, and stuck with the 2dP secret society of
the free mind driven away by the brain, thanks. As always,
you wont be hearing us cry for money or see those fun
ass banner ads until we are all at least 50 yrs old.
Money can make humans do funny ass shit. I like the
color green, but I hate money.
Discuss:
2dP
secret society of the free mind driven away by the brain. |
The
Sim Soup Show Site Opens
04.14.02
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Submitted by "NandP" |
2dP is semi-proud to present the Sims
Soup Show. Observe how members of the 2dP community
live together and how each react towards one another
from submitted personality attributes.
The
site is still in production phase sooo no links are
active at the moment, but stay tuned.
Day One of the Soup
Show should be finished in a few days. Be aware
the Soup Show will contain adult content, strong sexual
theme, xxx nudity, and human conflict. |
Simatta's
Artwork Available for Auction
04.15.02
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Submitted by "NandP" |
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Simatta's
forum artwork is now available the 2dP action
section. Biding will begin at $100 American dollars.
Under each painting will be a link to a thread
where you may announce your bid. The final bid
will end after a silence of 5 days. The money
collected from the auction will go towards children
with deformed knees. |
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More:
Check
out Simatta's Artwork here and bid generously
Comments:
Critique
Simatta's masterpieces |
Everyone's
Favorite Furry Friend!
04.16.02
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Submitted by "NagaoDono" |
Many
of you have had the occasion to meet Mortal_Wombat.
If you haven't then I must say I'm impressed to meet
the first ever blind CS player.
What many may not know is that "Wombat" is
his actual accepted name. So saying I submit to you
the tale of how a little boy name Geoff became the fierce
beast you and I all know and tolerate.
More:
Wommmmmmmmmmmmmbat
Comments:
Wombat
and Janet refuse to comment on allegations of their
engagement |
New
Disinformation
04.18.02
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Submitted by "Snufkin" |
| Following
Tuesday's announcement that the Pentagon had closed
the controversial Office of Strategic Influence, which
allegedly was created to spread false information
abroad, the agency said it has been unable to convince
OSI employees to stop reporting for work.
"We got ya, sir, we're 'closed'," said a
winking Major Chad Brumley when Defense Secretary
Ronald Dumsfeld found him at his desk again today.
"There is no one here spreading misinformation
now, and certainly there won't be anyone here spreading
misinformation daily from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sir."
More:
"How
was that?" the major added in a whisper."
Comments:
"Look,
you're not getting this," said Dumsfeld |
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